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Lets get Personal

image1So for this post I am gunna go a lot more personal than we have gone previously, I still hope you enjoy the read!


A few quick things you might not know unless we are friends. I have ADHD which was not assessed until after I graduated high school. I have been on anti depressants for at least 3 years now and have wanted off of them since February this year. We had a suicide in the family early March which made it the worst possible time to go off anti depressants. I learnt recently that I don’t have asthma, I just have panic attacks from anxiety.  I have had Ross River Fever for a year now.


GOING OFF ANTI DEPRESSANTS: I wanted to get off anti depressants (as they made me feel dehydrated and I don’t want to rely on pills to feel ok) around Feb, I did not know how to go about it so I went to the doctors and asked about my options. The doctor suggested a mental health plan to go see a psychologist and eventually a psychiatrist. I booked in to see a psychologist halfway through March and by then I NEEDED it, I heard about Jade’s suicide the day it happened sometime during the day… I was told, talked to my parents about it as I don’t live with them and just went about my day. At 6pm that night about when it was getting dark I picked mac and cheese (packet mac and cheese, super easy to make) for dinner and it hit, it then took me 2 hours to prepare that meal between my brain shitting down, my body not moving off the ground and the fact that when I moved it was autopilot. I was alone at my place that night and that exact feeling of no focus (not helped at all by ADHD) and my brain shutting down continued for at least a month.


My psychologist thought that the grief I was feeling might be lessened by going to Jade’s funeral. As I have amazing adopted family willing come get me (as I was without vehicle at that time) I was able to say my final goodbye. This did not help at all, every other funeral I have been to is older people, people that have lived full lives. No other death has been this close to me and impacted me this much. It is now over 4 months since the world lost Jade and I am no where near over it but I am ready to go off anti depressants again. I have an appointment where this time I am telling my doctor I am going off medication, please know that even if you are depressed you don’t have to do what they tell you, it is your body. I will be off medication by next week and apart from a bad day (which we all have) I feel great about it!


To combat the mass amount of anxiety I have about how I might feel being off medication I am doing a photo challenge #beAphotographer by Adam Elmakias. To see my photos follow me on Insta @mac_kb_eth or search the hashtag #kbbeaphotographer



ROSS RIVER FEVER: In case you don’t know mosquitos spread Ross River Virus among others. This is how I got it, my parents thought (because I lived with them a year ago)  this girl is lazy! I felt tired, sore and completely drained for weeks and weeks before we decided to check out whats wrong. We thought a possible iron deficiency as that has happened before. When the test results came back it was confirmed Ross River. The pain of RR is like having the flu, sore muscles, no energy, foggy brain, insanely tired but ALL THE TIME.  Chronic fatigue can come with RR as that is basically how it feels. I tried non stop resting and that was good for a while but I wasn’t getting things done. I had to look after my house, do yard work and apply for jobs! How was I going to do that?


I decided to somewhat take the power back, tell my body what we were gunna do but I also had to listen to my body. I read up on articles from others who have RR and they all had different methods of living with it. I also went to MindBodySpirit festival and found out magnesium is good for RR. Now I have a method to live with it, being gentle. I listen to my body and I don’t do ridiculously strenuous work, I rest when I need to I also have vitamins, supplements I take as well as magnesium cream. I eat SO much better than I used to, I do cleaning and yard work when the energy strikes me, I rest when I need to and I even have a JOB INTERVIEW! Exercise helps on good days to build up stamina, help release my anger and to make sure I sleep well. The exercise I enjoy is box hit class at the gym with my neighbour, jumping on the trampoline and of course walking around catching Pokemon and hatching eggs on Pokemon GO.


The most helpful article I found on RR:


My Daily RR survival kit:

  • A balanced healthy diet
  • Chewable vitamin C x2

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